Breaking Free from Overwhelm: The Power of Pausing and Letting Go

Overwhelm often feels like a heavy weight pressing down, pulling us into a state of “I can’t.” But if we look deeper, there’s often more to it than simply feeling incapable. That sense of “I can’t” may mask something we’re resisting—a hidden “I won’t” that’s buried beneath fears and truths we haven’t faced. The habit of constant busyness, of always doing and achieving, becomes a way to sidestep these uncomfortable realities. We mistake endless motion for progress, yet all the striving can rob us of the only thing that truly matters: the present moment.

The Hidden Costs of Overdoing

When we don’t slow down, we get caught in a cycle of anxiety and self-defeat. Overdoing distracts us from ourselves, keeping us busy enough to avoid our fears. But this doesn’t lead to real growth. It leads to burnout. And in that state of overwhelm, it’s easy to believe we’re just not capable or “strong enough.” In truth, feeling overwhelmed is less about our ability and more about a neglected need to pause, breathe, and ask ourselves, “What am I afraid to face?”

This cycle of endless doing is like trying to fill a sieve with water: no matter how much we pour in, the foundation leaks. We can’t sustain it all if we don’t first nurture the foundation of it all: ourselves. Overwhelm is often a sign that we’ve ignored that inner foundation, that we’ve become out of alignment with our needs and values.

The Power of Pausing: Confronting Our Fears

In my group coaching course, we focus on acceptance and release, a powerful duo that helps us step off the hamster wheel of overdoing. When we stop resisting reality and allow ourselves to accept things as they are, we conserve precious energy that we’ve been pouring into fighting what’s true. This acceptance opens the door to honesty—with ourselves and with life. It allows us to ask, “What do I truly want? What am I so afraid of? And what would happen if I stopped trying to control every outcome?”

When we release our grip on control, we allow life to flow more freely. Instead of working against the current, we learn to move with it, to trust that less effort doesn’t mean less progress. The antidote to overwhelm isn’t in doing more—it’s in doing less and allowing space for alignment.

Practical Steps to Embrace Ease Over Effort

If overwhelm has been a frequent companion in your life, consider these steps to move from resistance to acceptance:

1. Pause and Reflect: When you feel overwhelmed, pause. Instead of reaching for something else to add to your to-do list, take a deep breath and reflect. What’s truly causing this stress? Often, it’s not just the workload but the story we’re telling ourselves about why we “must” do everything right now.
2. Ask Honest Questions: Be brave enough to ask, “What am I avoiding?” It’s natural to want to steer clear of uncomfortable truths, but only by acknowledging them can we release their hold on us. Ask yourself, “What am I afraid of losing? What would happen if I let this go?”
3. Practice Letting Go of Outcomes: Consider one area of your life where you’re striving or trying to control the result. Practice loosening your grip on that outcome, and focus on the process instead. Trust that sometimes, letting go brings us exactly what we need, in a way that feels more natural and less forced.
4. Shift from “I Can’t” to “What Can I Do Right Now?”: When the weight of “I can’t” feels overwhelming, shift your thinking. Focus on what’s manageable in this moment. This can be something as small as taking a single breath or completing a minor task that reconnects you to the present.

The Gift of Surrender

Overwhelm is our mind’s way of signaling that something deeper needs our attention. The gift of surrender, of accepting what we can’t change, is that it frees up energy to focus on what we can. Let this be a reminder to pause, reflect, and reconnect with what matters most: the here and now. Only when we release the tight grip of overwhelm can we find clarity, reconnect with ourselves, and open up to the flow of life.

In the words of the poet Rainer Maria Rilke, “Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror. Just keep going. No feeling is final.” Allow yourself to feel, to pause, and to heal. In doing so, you may find that you’re more capable than you ever thought possible—and that sometimes, the path forward isn’t found by pushing harder but by letting go.